Liquid Living: A Juice Cleansing Journey, Part One

It looked like the bottom of the swim lake at summer camp and I was tempted to pinch my nose as I swallowed the first sip, but my concerns were unfounded. Sure, the juice tasted like it contained the many pounds of leafy greens that were advertised on the side of the bottle, but a hint of apple sweetened it up and the thin consistency helped it go down easy. Kind of.

I had finished the first of the 18 juices that would be my sole sustenance for the next three days.

Juice cleansing had a moment a few years ago, but I was in college and more concerned with testing the limits of my liver than cleaning it. Now, as someone who has used all that practice to become a professional drinker, the desire to pause, detox, and take a break from the constant food and wine consumption that defines my existence had an appeal. 

Fasting in all of its guises has a long and storied history, but in modern America has been relegated to kooky health nuts and get-thin-quick dieters. In my city of New York there are a multitude of raw and vegan cleanses to choose from, but BluePrint Cleanse seduced me. The snappy copy and graphics spoke to my desire to be a well-manicured, put-together kind of woman who drinks healthy green stuff.  

Two women founded BluePrint Cleanse (BPC) with the goal of making raw food and cleansing available to busy people who may not necessarily be health nuts. They offer three levels of juice-only cleanses based on your current eating habits, and ship fresh juices across the country. As a first-time cleanser, I chose the entry-level Renovation. The descriptions of the ideal candidate spoke to me: "salad is found in EVERY cheeseburger I eat: it's that green-ish color in the middle of the burger," and "fruit? Easy, it’s the garnish on my cocktail!" These were my people.

The cleanse seemed simple enough: six juices a day, with only two of the dreaded greenies. BPC calls itself a “nutritional cleanse." The raw, vegan juices would add up to over 1,000 calories that according to BPC were exactly the ones that my body needed and not nutritionally equal to the same 1,000 in a double cheeseburger. The goal is not weight loss, but rather a recalibration of the body and a chance to give the digestive system a rest. When I reached out to BPC with a couple of questions, they offered to let me try a complementary three day cleanse. Sold! I was going green.

I scoured the BPC website for hints as to what I would experience and any tips. First tip? Get a colonic. Before, during, or after the cleanse. They don't care when, but do it.

First tip ignored? Get a colonic.

But the rest I took seriously. BPC recommends preparing for your cleanse by slowly cutting out the foods and beverages that clog up your system. Meat, cheese, alcohol, coffee are all goners. The website explicitly points out that there can be "no farewell-to-solid- foods-with-a-steak-and-martini dinner the night before you start." Evidently, that had happened before with disastrous results.

I do not eat raw foods. I strongly dislike fruit. I do avoid processed foods and prepare most of what I eat, but dairy is my closest friend. And, as previously mentioned, I drink. For a living. But none of that really scared me. What did was cutting out coffee. BPC allows, even encourages, green tea to be drunk during the cleanse (any extra water or tea is ideal for flushing out the system, apparently). But green tea is not coffee. I take my coffee strong, black, no sugar. Green tea seemed soft in comparison, healthy. But I dutifully bought a pack and began the pre-cleanse diet recommendations. About a week before, I started cutting down on all of the good things. Three days out, I cut all alcohol and coffee and assumed a vegan diet. The last day I ate only raw foods. I was hungry. My energy was flailing. But I had come this far and I was not about to give in!

To be continued...